Wow! Has it really been a year?

Wow! It has been a year since I have posted; my wonderful mom lost her battle with heart disease and kidney failure. It was an emotionally draining process. Her health rallied several times and we were able to enjoy some happy moments and make a few more memories. The last months of her life were difficult to watch as she fought hard to beat the endocarditis that sapped her strength, she was always smiling and never lost her ability to laugh and joke.

She was an inspiration to everyone around her, her indominable spirit was admired by all her doctors and their staff. When Mom was told she was going to meet Jesus; she smiled and told her kidney doctor that he had been a wonderful doctor and that she appreciated the wonderful care he had given her. She had just reconciled her beloved Catholic church and received absolution a few days before she passed away. She was peaceful and told me; “ I had a great run, with few regrets, I am surrounded by people who love me.” She told me she loved her family and said she would miss us all. She smiled and told me she would finally get to hold the baby she never got to hold; my brother Joseph was stillborn. She was joyfully looking forward to being reunited with all her family that had passed before her. But in her absence was a heartbroken family that clung together to find healing.

The children; Lia 10, Bella 5, and Thomas 3 were devastated at the loss of their Great Grandma (Mee-maw, to Thomas) she was a big part of their lives. Lia was sad because Great Grandma always came to all her events, she wrapped herself in Great Grandma’s favorite housecoat and sat in her favorite recliner lost deep in the memories she treasured. Bella wanted to know when Great Grandma was going to come home; she just wanted to hug her again. Thomas wanted to climb the gazebo to see his Mee-maw again. When we explained this couldn’t see her there, he asked if he could swing high enough; when we answered no; he suggested an airplane. It was hard seeing our sweet children so lost in grief. We turned to the internet for books on the subject and found three lovely ones, each geared to a different age group. I highly recommend them to anyone who wants to help little one deal with the death of a close relative: the invisible string, by Patricia Karst; I miss you, by Pat Thomas; God gave us heaven, by Lisa T. Bergren. We read the books together and talked about our feeling; together we dealt with the fact that Grandma was not coming back and that he now lived with Jesus. The children all attended the funeral but not the graveside service. The selected their flowers for her special mass; and drew pictures to go with her. Our first trip to leave flowers was poignant; Bella and Thomas lifted their little hands and looked up to the sky and shouted; “we love you Great Grandma and we love you.” My trip with Lia was equally special, she carefully selected her flowers. When we arranged them in Great Grandmas vase she was careful not to have too many Seahawk colors as she was a life long 49-ers fan. She smiled and said; ”I really do miss you Great Grandma. Slowly the pain is easing, and the children are adjusting beautifully; they pray for their Great Grandma daily and love to talk about special memories with her.

Time marches on and the leaves are beginning to change color and the temperature is dropping; and all at once I realize that fall is nearly here. As I put away the last of my brown sugar applesauce (her favorite) I realize by now she would have already got into the dill pickles and beets; she would have talked me into sampling the pickled mixed veggies; coerced me into making extra corn relish and bread and butter pickles before the cucumbers were unavailable. I smile at the memories of all the fun we had together getting ready for fall; pumpkin spiced latte’s will never taste as good alone .

Mom and I were partners in crime; always planning our next adventure or family holiday. I don’t know how I will manage this holiday season without her. My daughters Crystal, Kelly and I will start planning the holidays soon and we will comfort each other as we muddle through without our third musketeer. It will be bittersweet, but we will share memories of holidays past and laugh about the silly things Mom said and did. We will share her holiday favorites and toast the warm and wonderful woman that taught us so much about love.